Okay, so, balance.
If we’re talking about fitness, I’m all about the challenge of non-wobbly poses. Core strength is one of my current infatuations when it comes to overall physical health. I can hold a tree pose and a Warrior III like a semi-pro.
But what about steadiness when it refers to the emotional balancing act of motherhood?
We’ve all heard the rhetoric about maintaining a healthy balance around how we spend our time and how we manage all those feely things inside our hearts. Important people with smart degrees convey the essential benefits of a proportionate pie chart when piecing off kid time, me time, date night, girl’s night, etc., as well as moments for tending to our emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental health.
While I’m not important and my degree is in accounting, as a mom with 24 years of experience, I can tell you that the best cut pie in theory never panned out well in my reality. Life’s way too unpredictable for measured success. There isn’t a pie chart in the world that can accurately account for the unexpected moments when life is stressful, wonky, or hijacked by a crisis.
Not that trying to achieve the above-mentioned balance isn’t a valiant endeavor. Sometimes we do find ourselves on an even keel. But what about when we don’t? The only answer I”ve come to is adopting a steady mindset of trust and surrender to fill in the gaps.
The photo above is of my 23-year-old son and 21-year-old daughter. What strikes me about the photo isn’t the impressive balancing by both my kids. Nor is it the beauty of the water and surroundings. What got me thinking is what it took mentally for my kids to do this pose together.
Two-person yoga asanas are about trust and surrender. They depict service toward others. So, my son is serving his sister as a balance partner, promising to stand strong for her to lean on. The same is true for my daughter serving her brother. Together they lean into one another, trusting in the security each will provide, while surrendering the need to personally control the outcome.
Doesn’t God do the same for us? Serving us every day as a balance partner, promising to stand strong if we lean into His love, guidance, protection, and mercy? What if a willingness to boldly trust God with our everything, while surrendering our need to control, is the real tipping point for keeping emotional balance in motherhood?
Goodness knows no matter how intentional we are with setting time aside for a night out with the hubs, a getaway with friends, or a dream family vacation, life will usually throw some sort of wrench in the mix. No matter how many life goals we display on our vision board, or ideals we pencil into our day planners, we can’t control what we can’t control, and disappointment is sure to follow.
Which is why expectations are resentments under construction. Thank you for the reminder, Anne Lamott. Having expectations will always keep us out of balance because the percentage of met expectations is none percent in most cases Click & Tweet!
Rolling with things to the best of our ability seems to be the path of least resistance in attaining a healthy emotional balance. In truth, I’ve been bad at this over the years. As someone who struggles with controllabetes, trust and surrender can be the hardest thing in the world depending on what life throws our way—especially when our kid’s livelihood is involved. But we always have a choice to pursue this type of spiritual balance and apply it to all aspects of our existence. Life can’t take away a go-with-the-flow mindset. How we choose to think about our experiences, upheavals, disappointments, frustrations, and fears is under our control.
As difficult as it is at times, I’ve come to learn that having a big, bold, and brave attitude of God’s got this is our best defense to wayward days, failed plans, unmet expectations, unexpected crises. Turns out God is important and doesn’t even need a degree. We can lean on the creator of everything 24/7, and we’ll be met with a wall of perpetual strength. Love is all-encompassing like that.
Getting back to the yoga pose my kids displayed being an act of service, I think we’ve got that down as moms. Loving service is our thing. But, God is all about service too. Let’s do our best to let the Father serve us by allowing Him to keep us steady.
Strike a pose, crazy Mommas!
You may like this story too Have You Chosen Your One Word for 2018? I did. Allowing. Looks like I need to ‘allow’ God to do His thing more often…
Do you or a fellow Momma need some heart encouragement? Subscribe to Shelby’s monthly Grace Notes and receive 3 FREE Chapters of her new book with Lisa Leshaw, “How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don’t need to say, “I’m fine.”) The two of them share short reflections on their perspective of 31 motherhood emotions, each tied to a specific Psalm. The cool thing is, Shelby is a Jesus groupie and Lisa is a Moses devotee!
Shelby Spear
Shelby is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, Certified Meditation Teacher (CMT), author, freelance writer, speaker, and love enthusiast who is passionate about helping others ‘change the way they look at things so the things they look at change.’ She has numerous stories featured in the national publication, Guideposts. She also has over 160 featured articles at online publications, including Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, Parenting Teens & Tweens, For Every Mom, Love What Matters, and Today. Her book, How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don’t need to say, “I’m fine.”), co-authored with her dear friend, Lisa Leshaw, recently won the 2020 Publisher’s Weekly Book Life Prize as the finalist in the Inspirational/Spiritual category.
